In my previous post, I discussed some really lovely great people and some really shitty horrible people. So before we get started or go into any of this.. Quick shoutout to all those really lovely people again and a few more this time. These lot are the best. Most of them probably couldn’t care less that they are mentioned in this post but all the same, if you’re looking for great talent and really cool chill people on NG, here’s a list:

@Sexual-Lobster , @Chluaid , @Krinkels , @Emily-Youcis , @SamGreen , @Blordow , @AlmightyHans , @Luis , @doublemaximus , @AliceMako , @Haroshi , @Tyler , @YurgenBurgen , @SoupCat , @Totty , @Bucketboi , @VicariousE , @Mich , @4cat , @Sense-Offender , @ConceptSama , @Wonchop , @GerkinMan , @LegendaryFrog , @ZekeySpaceyLizard , @Mottis , @The-Swain

From herein, we go into the deep end. The natural progression now, is to talk about an even shittier group of people than the previous post!! That is the purpose of this post. To discuss the only people who lie, cheat and gaslight their own people more than those mentioned in my previous post… The only people worse than the worst people I’ve personally ever known. Who is it? The very people in charge! Not all of them, obviously. Though, it goes without saying that something strange is happening in the world right now. Britain, infinitely locked into a weird never-ending Brexit, with no actual exit [from the EU] in sight. In France and much the rest of Europe, there are Yellow Vest protests against the entire banking system. Then in America they have the seemingly worst possible president conceivable, even though he’s clearly a more peaceful person than Clinton. Why is all this weird stuff going on? Simple answer. The Deep State and the New World Order. Whether you believe in these things is irrelevant. They’re real and they are happening. What you are witnessing is a revolt against them, right from within. You don’t even have to dig too deep for proof of a shadow government.

Lets start by covering what comes to mind for most people, regarding this subject. The Illuminati. Oh yeah, ‘as if one group can just control this whole world’. No. Not anymore anyway. It was once that way, until they were disbanded in the 1800’s. If you’d like to hear more about this, I highly recommend the works of Myron C Fagan or Nesta Webster. You will see the very same tactics used and the very same issues discussed that are all happening today. Even down to Nesta being remembered as a “Far-right Extremist”. A slanderous term, they gave her for opposing their agenda.

Illuminati actually refers to a bloodline. The bloodlines of the Illumined. Those whom consider themselves enlightened. They think they are better than everyone else. So since their official club was disbanded, they split up to form things like The Atlantic Council, The Council on Foreign Relations and the ADL. The list goes on and is a number of stories, within itself. Featuring interesting people like Albert Pike right through to modern characters like Winston Churchill. Point is, they are very active and in positions of high power - including the entire banking structure, which controls everything - funding both sides of every war. While also controlling organisations like the UN, allowing them freedom to commit war crimes and basically do as they please, with or without the backing of other nations. If you are in any doubt of this, please study this mural from the UN headquarters. Which depicts “The apocalypse” and our ‘wonderful world leaders’ surviving in underground bunkers and coming out to rebuild, once it all blows over. No thanks.

Bringing us smoothly to the other thing which ties most of these people together. Congress De Wilhelmsbad, 1782. Their religion: Freemasonry. Another secret society that has been boycotted in history. A very mysterious and powerful organisation, containing many of our world elites. High ranking members having higher degrees. From leaders, to bankers, to law makers. They have elaborate uniforms, elaborate titles like Knight. A title which can be gifted to you by their highest ranking female, Queen Elizabeth. Yes. It goes right to the top. Before we turn this into an anti-authority witch hunt, lets remind ourselves that they are not all evil. If happenings like Q anon are anything to go by, there are most certainly “good” Alliance factions, within the Deep State and these organisations. As with any such hierarchy, it essentially comes down to rank. There’s no way low level members can truly know what is going on and the true agenda of the people at the top. It is designed that way. So that the lower people don’t even know the higher ranks have a separate doctrine. That doctrine is not Freemasonry, not Christianity, Islam or whatever public-facing religion their Lodge has. This is the true religion of these evil people. Satanism. The practice of Occult Ritual and horrible acts of Original Sin. Which is why persecuting a religious or ethnic group is just another farce designed by them, to distract and divert attention away from them. All it comes down to is power.

Another thing Rank and power needs is: Centralised control; their whole agenda. That important factor which allows them to infiltrate just about every industry and system in the world. The ability to have absolute control over public opinion. Austerity has only solidified that, as almost all influential independant businesses have been brought up by the banks. Remember the good times, before the Credit Crunch? Before Recession. Nostalgia exists because they have taken away those good times. To facilitate their spiteful work against humanity. The mainstream media is now one voice inside a giant echo chamber. Even corporate media is the same rhetoric, from the same old war criminals. Recent Mueller probe as prime example. Robert Mueller being the very scumbag that sent us on a wild goose chase for “WMD’s in Iraq”. Now inventing fake shit about Russia with similar intent. To keep us all scared. To spend all your tax. To cull the population. UN Agendas in a nutshell.

By now, you might be wondering “how have they hidden all this?” or “why has this never come out in full?” and that really is quite simple. They own both sides, the opposition and the the defence. They own the media corporations that report these things. They own the organisations that investigate these things and most importantly the courts, which have the final verdict on these things. This has come out. Repeatedly. You are programmed to laugh it off as a “conspiracy theory” or mock anyone who provides a conflicting narrative. Look at the amount of whistleblowers from the last 10 years alone. How many more do you think they have silenced? Look at the censorship push online, with EU Articles 11 and 13. How long did we fight for Net Neutrality? Remember SOPA and ACTA? They are desperately trying to stop this from becoming vast public knowledge. That's all this censorship and politically correct nonsense is really about. The internet poses a huge threat to their control system, while also being their primary source of intel on us. They've worked tireless for decades, to strip it bare of any independent voices and turn it into a gigantic global data-mine. Essentially, they are running out of places to hide. They do bad things everywhere they go, even online. People are aware and they are angry with them. The way it should be. Not scared. What comes of hiding this information? More murder. More pain. More sorrow. More anguish. The same that has come from hiding almost any information, throughout history. This needs to be known, by all. UN Agenda 21, UN Agenda 2030. They are evil plans. To divide society even further and instil martial law on our streets. To kill the population. A Totalitarian, Communitarian, Technocratic hellhole. As the world is rolled into one world governance, one world religion and one evil regime. That’s not freedom. They don’t respect your human rights. Go and read the Georgia Guide stones. That’s what they really think of you.

This is done through control. The banks own everything. Austerity has crippled the entire market. That’s not going anywhere either. Wasn’t the point of that to stop our debts and pay it all off? Why have we started more conflicts and are spending more money on pointless upgrades like 5G? Aren’t we supposed to ration during wartime? This is not ok. This is not fine. Now is the time to say enough is enough. Take your own sovereignty back because no referendum or vote is going to do that. They only want to take that away and sell it to the highest bidder. They will gut out your countries infrastructure. Buy out all your local businesses. Slowly take control of everything until they own it all and you depend on them. That is UN Agenda 2030. By 2030 they want to enslave the entire world, essentially. Their markets, their trade. This is not how it has to be. The system works but it is rigged by deranged people in charge. It has never been fair and now they are only working to make it even more unfair. Not the false promises of progress they give you in every election cycle. Secret societies, who have enacted plans over centuries. Far longer than just one generation or one lifetime. These plans deliberately lengthy, making them harder for people to follow. Carefully orchestrated by your own top brass. All the the intelligence communities are involved, on behalf of these evil control freaks. Working against everything we hold dear. Getting you to buy into their next ponzi scheme. The higher degrees of Freemasonry and other secret societies are totally separate and use a different doctrine to the lower, crowd-facing levels. Their modus operandi is pure evil.

They’ve created these conflicts and divided society to such an extreme, exactly for the sole purpose of enacting their wicked plan. This shit is crazy and everyone who gets mad at Trump or whatever straw-man/scapegoat they have you chasing in circles, is mostly revealing their truly blind ignorance to reality. Individuals like him aren’t the problem, he has no power compared to the banks or shadow government. His administration is certainly dangerous and fascist but fact is, he is just one tiny part in their big spy game. Which is why they’re trying too hard and conveniently using it as a big distraction from all their other terrible deeds. Stupidity sells. Look how many false flags they’ve driven us into war over. 9/11 being the obvious one. Syria and a chemical gas attack which was never proven to be Assad. Now they’re trying it with Russia. Telling you mysterious “russian hackers” leaked the DNC emails and tried to hack your elections. Even though there’s no proof and the files were transferred at an impossible speed (meaning it was done locally, on USB. Not “hacked”). The Skripal poisoning in the UK. Our battered and abused NHS somehow cured a military grade poison in a General Hospital? It doesn’t add up, on so many fronts. Then they deliberately confused it, with another supposed “poisoning” in which Dawn Sturgess died. Both times, the media completely failing to mention that all victims were admitted under suspected Fentanyl overdose. Which also happens to be the cabal’s weaponised drug of choice at the moment. This whole situation is fucked. Even John Cleese has spoken out about this. Everyone is so deep in lies and corruption that they just go along with whatever they’re told. Outrageous. Have some fucking morality and self respect for gods sake. Stand up and say no. Call them out for their trashy pantomime bullcrap. This shit costs not money but lives.

After reading all this, if you still want to look to someone like Joe Rogan in the Bully-cult for confirmation bias that this isn’t real.. Or if you’re struggling to explain all this to someone else.. Ask them, ask yourself, where’s the evidence to contrary? Where’s the proof that Soros didn’t crash the stock market for personal gain on Black Wednesday? Where’s the evidence that there was any Russian collusion? Where’s the evidence for WMD’s in Iraq? Why can’t they explicitly say who did 9/11? Why do all the elites gather at weird places like Bohemian Grove? Why can’t they properly explain Kennedy’s assassination to this day? Why did Syria’s Civil War become a global conflict? Why are they censoring harmless online communities? Heck, how did they “lose the technology which got us to the moon”!? Where’s the evidence for fucking Darwin theory? There are no mysteries in this world. Only bullshit. Created by MENTALLY DERANGED Satanic, Freemason wankers. Have a read of Morals & Dogma sometime, the book considered to be their bible.

Knowing about this stuff doesn’t mean you have to exorcise yourself from all mainstream media or anything of the sort. Nor does it mean you have to live in fear of these maniacs and their agendas. Far from it, these people are cowardly perverse spooks with immature childish egos. It helps to be aware. Don’t let them take advantage of us and betray our good intentions. They use unwitting patsies all the time and prey on our naive innocence. They’re not going to give you this information in black and white. It’s not about Right vs Left or one religion vs another; none of these false paradigms which serve humanity in no way at all. Don’t play those silly little games. What they’ve really made this about is the only ‘racism’ which has ever truly existed: Rich vs Poor. This is Us, vs Them.

Let’s start with what matters and the thing we’re all here for... Cartoons of course!? Did you forget that this is NewGrounds?? The true original home of weird internets.

Here's a little clip which has taken ages (and the shadows still aren't finished) from my latest cartoon! My insistence to draw that mostly on one layer and at such high detail is to blame for this taking so long. No details of the plot but I can tell you it’s a satirical reflection of some current societal issues, which takes place in a futuristic Earth (or is it Mars?) setting. All packaged neatly into a subtle cartoon that just about anyone can enjoy. *Provided they like bad independant cartoons and sci-fi...

This is the main protagonist. He's a mercenary type; pretty much just a rip off of Rex Colt from Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon. Over exaggerated 80s action hero. That type of character.

Here's the main character's vehicle, parked up at his objective...

Lastly, a semi-finished background which is ultra colourful and shiny!! Side-view of the area where he parked up, as you can see his vehicle on top of the ridge.

Ok, that's all I'm comfortable sharing for now. If you want more as it develops, the best place to catch it is on my Instagram. til then, next you hear of this will be the finished product -- unless I take it a step further and decide to run the whole thing through AfterEffects. Which would look great but could easily add weeks/months of time onto this. Doubt I will. Have other projects lined up and nowhere near enough time to do them all in my lifetime.

You might have seen the little skit I released last year. I’d gotten a lot of new equipment and wanted to test it all out. Also wanted to put something out quickly. As, straight away, I dived into my biggest project yet. Before even starting the skit. This big project is still ongoing and currently eating up all my animation time. Had hoped to finish this in time for NG's first Space Month, which is current month -- February, but there isn’t enough time to enable production at the level of quality I want.

Second up... The other big project I’ve been working on: I had to learn to walk again. This has taken priority over everything the last 2 years and still does. If you've read my previous posts, you will know my leg got smashed up and I'm now post-cripple, held together with a titanium femoral nail. As much as I’d like to be drawing, animating and learning flat out... I’ve had to make time for my body to recover. Which means doing physio, exercise, stretches, yoga, breathing exercises, laying down, standing up. Keeping physically active in general and getting back the flexibility. Even a bit of meditation helped when the pain was bad; often doing things which put me in a trance-like state too, such as gaming and model building. Making a full recovery seemed impossible and might well be but I’ve came further than I thought possible, already. I would like to share a few words about this.

Without sounding too cliche, it’s an experience I certainly wasn’t prepared for. All I did was go home to get some lunch. The last thing I expected was to lose all feeling in my leg. But it happened. Straight away, while I was still in the car. That is why I was stripped to my undies, cut out the car and removed on a stretcher. Once in A&E I experienced what it’s like to go into traumatic shock. Which was almost as terrifying as seeing a trucks grill come crashing through my passenger window and being sent flying to the other side of the road. Really began to panic as I went into a violent seizure, my mangled leg held up in traction with blood leaking from my open glass wounds. Almost immediately after this traumatic shock, I projectile vomited. From there, people plucked out more glass and tidied me up, then we were all done after about 7+ hours of pain, screams and whatever else. Got some sleep and went into surgery the next day.

The relief. When I woke up from surgery and still had my leg. I was ecstatic. Heck, I was even ecstatic to still have all my teeth. The only thing between them and my steering wheel was my bicep, which focking hurt, smacking back and forth between that and my seat several times. My mum was there when I woke up and was amazed how much more cheerful I was. It might have been residual effects from the anaesthesia but I was overjoyed either way. There was (and still is) a risk that I could have lost my leg. So, from there, all I could do was keep a positive mood. Which definitely helped recovery. Like many things, it’s mind over matter at times. Then I stayed in bed for the weekend and barely moved at all. Once the physiotherapists came on Monday, I tried to move the leg myself for the first time. Aside from being extremely painful, let me tell you... it really is like the movies or something. When someone stares intently at their paralysed limb. I was glaring at my toes. Just waiting for the slightest twitch; grunting, breathing heavily and flinching in pain when the toes finally moved slightly. That was good though. The next day, they got me out of bed and sat me down. Learnt to sit again, which is actually really hard and painful when your leg is swollen up to two or three times size, the incisions only stapled shut (31+ staples btw) and your bone is fragmented in several pieces. The next day, we did that and attempted to stand for a while. Then we did a couple of steps. The next day, we did more steps. I walked to the door and back.

Now, at this point, I hadn’t gone for a shit in over five days. I literally had a fractured butthole (pubic ramus) and bowel movements had stopped entirely, even though I’d been eating three meals a day and pissing just fine. I was faced with the prospect of a suppository but I knew better! Got my mum to bring me a pack of sugar-free polos and ate them all super quick. Much like sugar-free gummy bears and many other sugar-free snacks, this has a laxative effect. It worked. I took a tiny pebble-sized turd after about an hour of trying later that night lol. Luckily that was enough to tell the nurse I didn’t need a suppository and from there.. well.. it was up and up and up!! A day or two later, on my final day, I walked to the Ward Office on my zimmer frame, carrying my leaving gift for them in a carrier bag (which was insanely difficult and exhausting)!! Got out hospital and went to my works Christmas party. Which I knew, from their absence in my hospital stay, was essentially my leaving party. Thankfully I was given a heroes welcome by all of my actual friends, as the party was at the bar/restaurant which my very good friend basically runs and partly owns.

That’s the two major updates. As you can imagine, recovery turned into something of a spiritual experience. Like everything in my life really, as it’s technically just another word for alone. A lonely experience. Which I faced alone. Again. I really hoped it wouldn’t be, I hoped there would be someone by my side the entire time but it was mostly just me sat in the same spot, on my own, in pain. Too much pain to even keep my eyes open or do anything at times. I still had my friends and family thankfully looking after me each day though. Which helped me see what mattered and who truly cared. Next, to talk about some other positive people, who were the blessing and good influence I needed through such difficult times. People here, no less! These are the people that give me my remaining 1% of hope and faith in humanity. The ones that turned such a painful time of suffering, into a happy and spiritual experience. Gave me hope in the darkest hours and mostly just stopped me giving up on everything when it got too difficult. This is a list of very high-calibre NewGrounders.

Sexual-Lobster - An OG top dawg. His cartoons are weird, fantastical and funny as hell. So deadpan but full of life and deeply surreal at times. I can’t even put it into words, the mad respect I have... just go, watch any of his cartoons !

Emily-Youcis - Controversial. Massively talented but also considered massively racist, to the uninformed and blue pilled. Subjective concepts are never that simple. Check out her animation. You don't have to enjoy it or agree with her activism.. Respect her for her many talents though, if nothing else. I honestly think she is the most talented and important living female, within the meme-o-verse. Go and discover her story for yourself. She was even demonised by the mainstream media and much of the community here turned against her at one stage, remaining divided over their opinions. To those people, I have this piece of philosophy to share: get over yourselves.

Krinkels - Another cool guy and long time NGer. Creator of fucking MADNESS. What more needs to be said? Other than the fact he's working on Madness: Project Nexus 2 which will be awesome no matter what because it's a freakin' madness game by the original creator!! It looks great, I can’t wait to play but don’t have an early access copy. Truly, I think madness is one of the most iconic things to come out of NG.

Chluaid - Always been one of the top dawgs here on NG. He was a huge inspiration to me in my teens, making me aware of Flashes true potential and showing the real strength that an independant animator can have. I also read his book, watched many of his tutorials and streams during my recovery. Really friendly and fun, talented guy. Be sure to check out his cartoons if you are unfamiliar with him. He worked for Disney too, after also breaking a bone up good and focusing on his passion. Learnt so much from him as well.

Luis - One of the NG greats. This guy provided me massive inspiration in my younger years. He even pointed me in the right direction to get my career started. Legend as far as I'm concerned. Also really funny, just as cynical and sarcastic as me. Plus he does all his content with a mouse!? One of the few NewGrounders who actively refuse to use a drawing tablet. He’s an important staff member here and such a cool guy. Really can’t give him enough praise. Anything major that NG has done, this guy is usually involved somewhere along the line. Check him out.

SamGreen - Another of the classic NGers. One of the early animators that showed me what Flash could achieve, had I grown up with a powerful enough PC. He’s created great, interesting content for over 15 years. Little did I know, he’s slowly working on a reboot of my favourite work of his. Streams a lot. Puts so much care and effort into his work. Funny dude. Professional attitude. I wasn’t sure he’d remember who I was, so I hope he was pleased to see me. I was certainly pleased to see him doing so well after all this time. Look forward to many more memories of this dude and his work.

Haroshi - Someone I actually know in real life. IRL m8. Too many memories with this dude to even begin describing. He's not really active here on NG anymore. Sadly had to grow up like the rest of us. Still, check out his cartoons and other content. He does still keep busy creatively, I assure you. Big respect for this guy and his family. I feel sad that any of our efforts to collaborate never came into fruition but I know he is still working toward this lifelong passion just like me.

YurgenBurgen - Long time NG OG funny guy. Someone I was always aware of, he was always very active in the glory days. I never really sat down and went through his content until I was incapacitated though. Glad I did. His games, although simple, are very hilarious. I can't help but laugh when they deliver ridiculous punchlines, predictably shitty outcomes. Often leaving me bewildered and confused. Truly a master at what he does, his troll humour takes me right back to my late childhood years on here. Reminded me of the days I would sit for hours, loading up flash movies or games, on a 56K dialup. Made me really feel the NG spirit for the first time in ages. Thanks so much for that dude.

AlmightyHans - Briefly caught up with this guy lately, for the first time in about ten years. One of the early NG animators that motivated me to take animation seriously. He’s always so busy and creating things. He made some very ambitious projects back in the day. Was always thinking on an epic scale. Really inspiring guy. Doesn’t release so much content these days but when he does, it really is world class.

SoupCat - Someone else I’ve known for ages, through here. I always liked him as he reminds me of myself. As far as I know, he had a fairly basic upbringing too. Also seems to have as bad luck as me at times. Lately he’s been making some interesting stuff, for his new job. I always look forward to seeing what new work he conjures up. It’s always crafted skilfully with a similar level of pedantic attention to detail as my own work. He's just on a cool level that I can relate to. Got big respect for this lil dude!

Blordow - So many Aussies here. Used to chat with Blordow on MSN quite frequently and thought he was a pretty rad guy. People tried to divide us, saying I was copying him. That’s when I grew tired of petty drama, which was actually a great life lesson to get so early on. He was just a great friend and inspiration to me. Helped me realise many things that software could do, even back on my shit PC which couldn’t even run Flash or Photoshop. Also this guy has always used colour in real interesting ways, which is something I always fuck up. Naturally I checked up on his progress when I was in the void. Looks as though he’s still having a blast, like the rest of us :)

Totty - Another great creator I hadn't really encountered before. Also another fellow Briton! Haven't spoke to him or heard from him in a long while now but near the start of my ordeal, he was quite prominent and shared some cool stuff with me. I feel he is familiar with my struggle, being roughly the same age and in the UK. So I understand why he’s keeping his head down and staying busy; all round cool guy. Definitely check out his quality animations.

Bucketboi - Bit of a new kid on the block. Newest user on this list in fact. Another Brit, doing interesting things. Bumped into him on the portal one day, now I’m hooked. So far, he has mostly done animated music videos of his own tracks. Might not be to everyone’s taste but there’s no denying that he’s got skills. Also shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon. Really great talent, one to watch for sure.

VicariousE - One of NGs older active users. Maybe not so much of a creator, although does voice acting and worked within the media industry, like properly. He knows his shit and really loves this site. I don’t want to say he’s part of the furniture but....yeahhh, any old timer knows this name and that avatar. Real interesting and knowledgeable guy. Constantly says he's just old and boring all the time..but the fact he's telling me that, whilst playing GTA Online with me, says otherwise :)

AliceMako - One of Europe's more interesting specimens. There doesn't seem to be too many of us here on NG, in comparison to America or even Australia. She's always been around, making music and active within the community. Lately has made huge moves and got something of a cult following. Love her tunes and she's great to chat to, sharing many of my own views and values. Go have a listen to her music, especially if you're riding the synthwave right now.

Mich - Someone I hadn’t previously encountered on here. At least not directly. Fellow Briton. Cool guy, builds his own synthesisers from scratch, owns a neat audio service called instaud.io -- which is great if you are in the audio field and need to share WIPs quickly. Check out his stuff! You will be amazed, if you at least have a vague understanding of it all.

4cat - Funny guy, makes some awesome music - including the song from my skit mentioned above. Dealing with lots of his own struggles right now and just someone I was pleased to bump into on here. He always keeps a lighthearted mood and doesn’t waste time on drama or any trash like that. Check out his more serious music for sure. Also a great memer. Kept me smiling when the pain wrestled away my cheerful mood.

Sense-Offender - This dude is cool. He has great taste in films. Multimedia junkie, like most of us here. Full of weird experiences and has some stories to tell. He appreciates the show Fringe as much as I do, which speaks volumes about someones personality. When I was in pain and feeling lost, discovering somebody like this really changed my perspective and made me feel better. Thanks dude!

Wonchop, GerkinMan, LegendaryFrog, ZekeySpaceyLizard, Mottis, The-Swain - I grouped these last ones together as I've never chatted to them, or followed them until lately. I grew up loving their cartoons though. Some of the most memorable Flash toons from my teenage years. I couldn’t believe some of these guys were like my age and making such quality work back then. Not all so active these days, which makes me a bit sad. Far as I'm concerned though, these guys are an integral part of NG history. Some of the most underrated, definitely. Maybe had huge success back in the day but I’m always surprised when I see they have such a modest following now. They mostly went off and did different things, like just about all of us here. Really makes me wonder how different things would be if YouTube hadn’t stolen NGs limelight and success. What different world we’d be living in, if these people could have made a career and livelihood here on NG, for good..?

Truth is... There's so many awesome people and so many awesome things going on here - all the time! Seriously, this community is still very active. The only reason there aren’t as many movie or game submissions these days is because the bar has been raised so much higher! People want to put more of their time and effort into these things now, which is amazing! This wasn't meant to be a comprehensive list. Only a personal one. The people that really stood out to me over these troubled few years. The ones who stopped me giving up and motivated me to recover better. They made me want to keep doing my best. Didn't want to focus too much on very popular users, who have a strong following already but some of those helped a lot too; I felt a particular sense of reaffirmation after listening to the SleepyCast and realising I wasn’t just a monumental fuckup (or perhaps we all are? who cares). This isn't about reputation. They all made a really difficult time into a happy time for me and that is the miracle of this whole phenomenon right here. This technological miracle, which AI algorithms, lobbyists and organisations like the FCC are trying to take away from us all. What kind of horrible bastard would want to tarnish something so wonderful, pure and magical? A horrible bastard, trying to enforce a corrupt evil political agenda, that’s who. There are some places where bureaucracy just doesn't belong.

Bringing me neatly onto the last thing. A few closing words for all the wonderful haters. Of which, there are far too many in this world. It’s always important to remember that no one ever made themself great by showing how small someone else is and that anyone trying to bring you down, is already below you. Take it from me, I’ve been there. I was bullied all through my entire academic life. Even in university I was isolated, rejected and made an example of. Ultimately having my work stolen, after handing it in — and failing my course because of it. In workplaces, I’ve been the butt of twisted sadistical games. In social circles I’ve been the victim of weird catfish and evil manipulators. I've fallen victim to the worst cockblocks imaginable and some real scumbags. Everyone faces their own struggle. Yet, I don't let it bother me. Don't let them twats bring you down. That's their own demons and prejudices. Much like many of the other aforementioned names... it’s creative outlets and places like this, which keep me grounded and help me stay sane. Having a level perspective is important when people fuck with you constantly. I might lose the will to live occasionally but having survived so much shit, even before my drastic accident, suicide has never been an option. Was always told that’s the easy way out. Also life is far too precious and limited to just throw away so abruptly. When I’ve fought for it and narrowly escaped with it, more than a few times now. So; haters gonna hate, because I never lose my grip on reality. No matter how much they want me to be wrong or be as fragile and pathetic as them... I’m not. I will continue constantly dropping truths that shatter the entire delusional fake reality they live in and continue to piss them off by staying righteous, pure and true as they try to exorcise me with virtue signals. You should do the same. Stay true to yourself. Stay true to your morals. Don’t cave in or crumble just because someone expects you to or wants you to. Fuck them.

Could leave it there but ... let’s quickly reflect on some of the lousiest people ever to enter my life. One last mention of... my previous employer! Oh hurray, lucky us. I don’t want to put them in the spotlight too much, after all, they didn’t give a shit about me when I needed them. Where the fuck were those guys? Nowhere to be seen. As mentioned previously, I went to my Christmas party. Even though I was fragile and fresh out of hospital. At that point, it was obvious they had already chatted shit about me. Already made their minds up about me. With them being a bunch of drunk lightweights, I could see they barely even gave a shit about my injuries, or me. They all looked confused when my actual friends were all hugging me and so happy to see me - as those real friends actually understood and recognised the severity of what happened. Those real friends had genuinely taken an interest and heard in full what happened, instead of glossing over it and blanking it out along with everything else that's too real. Those friends realised I could have very easily been gone for good. So, yeah. That happened. In fact, the first thing those colleagues said. The first piece of information I was given, after formalities...was how...one of them had already went there, almost straight away. When I was still in hospital, one of them had said “oh haha I bet he did it just so he could play Fallout 4 lol”. Which was meant to be a joke? However, I’d already played enough of that game to know that it was the wankiest and most boring Fallout of all the main canon. So it wasn’t even a joke. Wasn’t even bad taste. It was just putrid and vulgar. I couldn’t even comprehend that they said it to me and laughed at it. Proud of their unnecessary and hateful circlejerk? I was just one big hilarious cathartic joke to them?? Fuck knows how many people they told that "joke" to and laughed about it.

Yeah, well. Jokes on them now because that company went bust. Closed down a few weeks back. Obviously because they’re a bunch of assholes, who probably can’t fucking sleep at night and treated their clients like shit. Fuck knows how they live with themselves. Not just the lies they sell; they behave that cuntishly toward everyone. I’m no special exception. After hospital, they didn’t contact me once. Not so much as a lazy text message. Not one of them. They fucked me about since day one, changed the job I got into something entirely different to what I applied for. They were shambolic. Using PeoplePerHour to outsource all of their work. Constantly having pointless meetings. No direction or briefs. Ambitions about as big as their egos but no actual skill or substance to realise those preposterously high targets. One of their punchy jargon phrases was “we do data”, which was code for them sitting around with their thumbs up their arses and letting someone else do all the work. The most "data" I ever saw them "do" was for the very first project they had me work on. Even then, it was a piss poor table of numbers. With which, I was supposed to make some fantastical “interactive piece”.

My accident had happened in my lunch break. Naturally, one of my first thoughts and realisations was how I wasn’t going to get back to work or get my project finished in time for new year. It put them in a messy situation. I was already performing poorly (due to the whole, being given a job I didn’t even apply for situation) and I felt bad at first. Almost felt guilty, redeemed only by my intention to heal and get back to it asap. But then.. after everything unfolded... after them not being there, visiting or even contacting me...after them not caring... frankly, I’m glad I left them in such a state. I’m glad they had to clean up their own dirty shitty mess. They made their own narrative up, demonised me for their own private agenda and look where their own hate and bitterness got them. That bunch of ungrateful, clueless, egotistical, narcississtic, megalomanic, psychopathic, cuntish lying fucking two-faced childish brats got just a fraction of what's coming to them.

Of course, the one person who had been my favourite the entire time... the person I wanted there with me in hospital and during the recovery... well she was the cow who ditched her fiancée to get with the married man, from a previous post. The same married man who happened to be the creepiest, most pathetic manipulative little weasel of a man I’ve ever encountered. If that wasn't enough... That same weasel creep also took the liberty of signing up my personal email addresses to his beloved junk and spam lists. God knows what else. Believing he's some righteous badman black hat hacker, who didn't even understand a unix environment and fucking bends over to Google AdSense, whom also once called himself a holy man. What a fucking selfish pussyhole shitcunt weasel. Waste.

To this day, I am in disbelief of all their disgusting behaviour. I just don't get the sadistic twisted mentality. Who takes pride and actively goes out of their way to stomp on someone when they're already down? Who gets horny over someone else's suffering? Someone who really loved and respected them. I have honestly never seen anyone stoop so low in my whole life and I've endured a lot of fucking scummy cunts. Like, fair enough, but any other one of them could have at least said HELLO. I needed them. Instead. This big, horrible thing that happened to me...they just made it all about themselves. Apparently the adversity and judgement was what they wanted all along. That girl in particular. I thought she was special. Thought we had something real amazing on the horizon. If she wasn't so blind to reality; didn’t have her fingers pressed so far in her ears that they were blocking her neural pathways and affecting her ability to think … Real big special amazing things. Things I thought I’d never have and now probably won’t. Just another clueless, misguided succubus that leeched onto the nearest horny dude, regardless of marital status or how much he actually needed her. Manipulated into his sick twisted ego fantasy of ‘defeating’ me, the bad guy. Disgusting. Whatever, she ended up getting therapy apparently. Yeah, that other thing I also really needed at that point in time. That thing I even applied for but couldn't make it to because the wounds were too severe and I couldn't get there, due to lack of transport after it got smashed up with me. On top of dealing with PTSD and night terrors. No doubt, once she realised what a huge mistake and awful deed she had done. When she realised she didn’t need to be facing all that bad shit; instead could have been praised and loved by all those magical people in my life. She would’ve been a heroine and could have done the right thing, when it mattered. Yes, she probably realised I have so much more to give her than that fucking creep. Not just more inches either but my extra love and extra wisdom. Never mind. That basically convinced me I don't want a normie life anymore. That mentality has never been compatible with me.

That's it. Been a long journey. Learnt a lot. Once again, had everything I could ever want and need. Once again, truly felt that someone believed in me. Once again, I was used. By people pretending to be my friends. Once again.. Another perfect future stolen from its rightful owners by some meddling clueless douchebag. This time, at the one time in my life I truly needed somebody. The only time I might have even asked for someone. I don't ask for much. I'm certainly never one to cry out for attention or make demands of anyone. I didn't even once ask for pity. I’m not salty or bitter like them. That’s why I don’t hold onto this shit. When I hauled my ass there on crutches three times... Weasel creep couldn't even look me in the eye by my last visit, as he had to believe in his own lies. That's when I knew they were already doomed. Luckily, I had my true friends and my family all there to love me and care for me. Plus the extended friends and e-family, all mentioned above. The other people I grew up with. That was the only therapy I really needed. To see what love really looks like.

So yeah, maybe I am another fuckin dirty white cis male incel, which apparently means I'm some kind of Alt-Right Nazi these days? ...but at least I’m not shacked up with some small-minded broody thot homewrecker. That seems to be the alternative. Get with some dumb bimbo whose overwhelming urge to reproduce and nurture is more important than having the relationship which comes with it, or having someone around to father that offspring? I’ve had the opportunity. I’ve had girls come onto me and, before we’ve even mentioned a date, they’ve mentioned babies (seriously, the UK is Thot-Bimbo capitol). Weird broody women, who seem to think their biological clock is some kind of doomsday countdown. Which..just...none of that... none of that, at all, is my idea of fun. No, thank you. If you like that, you're welcome to it but there’s a whole exciting world out there and you think looking after babies is fun? Sure, under the right circumstances, it is a great and beautiful (essential) thing but I’ll stick to being single and happy for now, waiting for the right person to do that with and not just the first one who comes along. I got other shit to do which isn't wiping up baby shit or getting no sleep. It ain’t so bad. Unfortunately... That’s just females for you. Easily misguided by their overwhelming emotions and desire to nurture. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from years of being single.. it’s that. Females are volatile and irrational. I’m not sexist, that’s just how it is. It’s fucking biological. Deal with it, embrace it. When females embrace their femininity, it is magical and they can gain huge respect in this mans world. They can achieve great things and even be great leaders but not by trying to be males. Not by exploiting their body or through nepotism either. There was a time when women embraced the matriarch. There was a time when a woman being a woman was sexy. Even tomboys and boyish women can be just as sexy. Now, society is telling women they should be men and turning them into misandrists. Which is wrong and disastrous. That’s not feminine at all. Chromosomes are binary. XX or XY. Even if you get a stupid sex change operation, your chromosomes remain the same. So don’t come at me with some gender agenda bullshit or your third-wave feminism bullcrap. It doesn't work. Our ancestors fought and died in wars, so you would be free and have all this shit you take for granted. So stop campaigning to take it all away.

Ok, I’m done. Thanks for reading this! You rock. RIP.

Time for a new post. How are we all?

Following my recent discharge from hospital, after my fairly horrific accident, it seems a good time for a little update. I'm currently about 15 months into an estimated 5-year recovery but deemed well enough not to need Hospital checkups and be making a steady recovery. I no longer need crutches or walking sticks, all that I'm really working on now is getting my balance and some of my flexibility back. It's still quite painful and who knows what long term effects will remain. Certainly lots of pain which wasn't there before.

Also, check out these new toys I got for drawing/animation reference. Aren't they sweet!?

This post, I'm gonna talk about what I've learned since my accident. It was probably the hardest time in my life and I'd already had my fair share of trials and tribulations, learning plenty of life-lessons along the way.

The most important thing I learned, is The Value of Friendship.
As cliche and unoriginal as that sounds. I'm very cynical, very sarcastic and neurotic to my core. Most people mistakenly interpret that as me being an asshole or not caring but in reality, I just don't trust anybody. I care deeply. I am passionate about all things. To the point where, I get emotional over stupid things and people being untrue. Like Rick Sanchez: I'm all about the much greater, four-dimensional factual picture; over anyone's feelings, opinions or emotions - none of them last forever. So I don't have many friends. Often through choice. Even fewer true friends, that I can rely on. The creative field is a battleground, at the best of times, and people are always waiting to fuck you over in this game. Look at the great talents being censored and penalised all over the internet right now. Stupid jealous losers hacking talented people and trying to get them shut down. Usually because a difference of opinion or outright lack of substance. So, friends. Who stick by you and help you. Those are the people to really cherish. Unlike the work colleagues I'd thought were my new friends... who abandoned me, didn't visit in their own time or spend any of my recovery with me. Yet, still expected me to work from home for them when I couldn't even dress myself, let alone walk or carry things. Fools. I was ready to give a lot of myself to that company and had any of them been in my situation, I'd have at least visited them every few weeks. Cunts. Now extremely glad I didn't waste my energy with them and correctly assumed that they had all obviously talked shit about me. I wasn't on the agenda since the moment I entered hospital. As if my pain, loneliness and suffering just wasn't quite enough for those shitheads. This contrast really helped me appreciate my true friends. One of my good friends in particular... He would come and help me up the stairs to bed every night, when my leg was swollen up and I couldn't haul my way up there alone - for about 3-4 months! I didn't ask him to. I didn't give him anything at the time. He just did it, coz he's a fuckin br0 and knew the state I was in. Knew how close I came to my demise and was happy I didn't. So make sure you got one of those friends, or better still.. that you are one of those friends. Without it, I wouldn't be making this recovery. Just being there, for someone who feels like they have no one... Is more than enough. They might look like they don't appreciate it or struggle to vocalise their gratitude but put yourself in their place. They have a lot of shit going on under the surface and your presence alone reminds them to carry on. Of course, this can come from your family too but you can't choose your family, so I focused on friends in this case.

Bringing me neatly to point two. Psychological trauma, bordering on Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Again, without my best friends and family around... I'd have given up. I wouldn't be making this recovery. I might not even be alive. Even with all that, there were times when I had breakdowns and wanted to guzzle handfuls of painkillers, then never wake up. People are always talking about the importance of mental health and how widespread things like depression are. To a degree, I would say, that's just life. A lot of people have an easy ride through it and the minute they hit hard times, they aren't prepared for it. The hormonal imbalances. The self-loathing, self-depreciation and complete feeling of hopelessness. If you're not prepared or strong enough, that shit will crumble your entire reality. When I hit peak manic depression nearly a decade ago, I literally lost my voice. I became so repressed and reclusive that all my social skills shut down. I didn't even think anything of it and wasn't til looking back five years on, that I realised just how much that damaged me and my entire life. Yet, thanks to that, I was able to pre-empt this trauma and asses it. Almost knowing what to expect. Back in school, I'd dealt with some of this as a young child. I soldiered through and somehow built up throughout my teens. Had the time of my life making shitty Flash cartoons on a crappy Trust drawing tablet, on a shitty PC that barely had a 1Ghz single core processor. Despite all the crap I'd been through and not really knowing what I was doing, I had a great time. Despite people trying to shut me down, bully me and send me viruses every day... Life was great. I used to laugh at people wallowing in their teenage emo depression. Which feels slightly bad, looking back but... That's just it. You can't let this stuff consume you. Fear will consume you. Face your fears. Only you can conquer yourself. Don't let emotions and certainly not the actions of other people defeat you. Yeah. Psychological trauma sucked for a while. It sort of disappeared as the intense pain faded and mobility came back. I still have the occaisional night terror. Surreal existential dreams. Once you learn to embrace these struggles, it's not so bad. That's all you can do. It never goes away but you will look back when you've grown stronger and just wonder why it ever mattered in the first place.

Third lesson.. Money ain't shit.
I shouldn't have to be saying this but we live in an age where people care more about their possessions and material things, than they do for each other. This proverb has been told enough times. It's where you at, not where you been. Money makes the world go round. You can't take it all with you... etc. But fuck! There's more to life than money!! More to life than grinding your ass off in a job for some douchebag, who will use you and take all the credit. That's someone elses dream, not yours. More to life than paying bills. The world doesn't end when your bank account is empty. You don't go to jail, unless you're severely bankrupt. Embrace your freedom. Fuck money off. That fear of going broke is all that's keeping you in your place. You're more than a cog in that machine. The only reason people like me even want money, is so we can actually be included and compete in this scummy capitalist society. I only want money to buy new equipment, get some weed or keep a roof over my head. It's so that our voice can be heard, our opinions shared. Not because we want more money, or more material things. If that was the case, I'd make porn or commit crimes. Easy money right there. I sure as hell wouldn't be trying to make it through life with an honest, creative career. Don't base your life or ambitions on money. If you do, then you already fucked up and are a terrible person. Currency is the bane of humanity and just another way you're letting yourself be controlled. I hate that money has been the only ever thing holding my creativity back for years. It won't buy you freedom, it won't buy you happiness. It'll just buy you more confinement, more responsibility and tighten the vice grip that the government has on your balls. The more of it you've got, the more of it they're gonna take. It's quite literally a false economy, given that a good 90%+ of the worlds money isn't even physical anymore. Do whatever you do for the passion and love, not the reward.

After last years shit-show of politics and conflict... First people saying Brexit would never happen.. Then people saying Trump would never win... Guess what. They both happened. It feels great to be on the winning side for a change but they are empty hollow victories, in the much grander scheme of things. I have some hope. Hope that people are waking up to the constant bullshit and lies we're fed from mainstream media. Hope that people are fed up of our propaganda. Yet I know deep-down it's all fuelled by confusion and rage. Rather than informed and educated decision making. I was lucky to be exposed to all this thought from a young age, being an active user on the internet before smart phones and dawn of the web 2.0 idiot. I've been lucky to see the story from both sides all along and if things carry on the way they're going, that hope will be lost. Future generations won't have this privilege and might as well be tuning into the radio for it's spoon-fed headline brainwashing bullcrap. Watching things like Kim Dotcom's lawsuit taking forever and people facing extradition over plain old data... People forgetting about the Panama Papers leak and Iceland's greedy, corrupt off-shore bankers finally being jailed because of said leak... It fills me with doubt. Doubt that the wrong people are still calling the shots. Doubt that anyone in charge really has the interests of the common citizen close to their heart. Doubt that anything we do makes a fucking difference. Doubt that any of this is sustainable at all. Doubt that anyone really knows what we're up against. We need to be more like Iceland and out protesting by the million. So... As Tom Fulp is always saying... Support NewGrounds. Make this the place for creativity and opinions to be shared. It's the only community that hasn't bent and buckled under the pressure of societies expecations. It's everything, by everyone. It's expecting the unexpected.

Some of the other things I learned in this period included...

• The importance of good posture.
• The importance of fruit (or vegetables, if you're into that).
• The unimportance of sugar.
• Books are still great.
• Building scale models is fun -- and also useful as artist reference.
• Bitches would rather fabricate a bunch of lies and convince themselves it's all truth, than spend their time with me.
• Bitches would rather go behind their fiancés back, destroy a childs future and get with a married man, than date me - an actually single crippled and lonely neckbeard.
• Bitches would rather get engaged to their asshole ex than date me, then immediately regret their short-sighted stupidity, when it collapsed within 3 months. Waste.
• Bitches will be bitches and the bitches do indeed be cray. They also seemingly want me to be full of this angst about them, while I just wanna live a life with no stress and no drama.
• Videogames are a great distraction from extreme pain and severe immobility.
• Weed is second-best to Morphine, as a painkiller. Arguably better, as too much won't kill you.
• Brownies are fun to make and even more fun to eat. 
• Never put anyone on a pedestal because we're all the same.
• Repression and hate are a waste of your very limited energy.
• Love don't cost a thing, invest it wisely and generously.
• Net Neutrality is the utmost important crisis we face. Defend Net Neutrality at all costs.
• Surveillance won't prevent terrorism or crimes, only make the general public more vulnerable.
• We the people hold the power, not "them".
• Disconnect. Get away from the digital world, get outside or away from all this noise somehow.
• Smartphones and technology are dividing us more than any amount of politics.
• Fear is controlling us and forcing us to endorse things like genocide, in foreign lands, to spread western influence.
• All this suffereing and turmoil is because of the banks. Money. Corruption. Currency. Because that's what Power is these days.
• Rockefeller is dead and hopefully Money Culture along with him.

Ok I knew most of them last ones already but they definitely needed reinforcing. Anyway, stay tuned. Working on lots of exciting stuff, as always. This time, things may actually materialise as... All the barriers preventing me before and destroying my morale, are no longer there. Anyone who read all of this... Why? But also thank you.

Peace out bitchez!

Hi everyone!

For those of you who read my previous post, I am recovering well. Still dealing with insurance and still off work but gradually getting back to walking properly. Tomorrow I have my next X-ray and find out whether I need more surgery or not.
[edit:] little update. It's looking like good news and I probably won't be needing any further surgery to my bone. Next appointment in 6 months.

Anyway... Y'all ready to learn some stuff? ...No? Good job this is NewGrounds and not school then!!
Seriously though, I'm just documenting the process for my entry into Jazza's Ministry of Silly Walks competition, for anyone interested. Lets start from the beginning. Almost straight after seeing the post, I sat down and did some quick planning. My parameters were simple; with it being defined as a walk, I quickly decided his elbows/hands shouldn't go above the height of his shoulders/head. I also wanted to experiment with smears, balance and squashes – all techniques that haven't really been utilised much in my previous animations.

Here is my very rusty working out. It had been over a year since I animated properly, mostly due to being injured.  At the top left, you can see a very very rough X-sheet. This is where I worked out the timing for each pose. If you're interested in animation and not sure what an X-sheet is, be sure to look it up! Highly useful. From this, I worked out the numbers you see below it and along the top. This tells me how long between each keyframe. Based on those numbers, I did the rough character tests on the right. Also labelled this page "Walk Cycle" in the bottom right, due to the drunk guy in the club asking what I was drawing.

From this and some rough sketching, I was able to draw my 10 keyframes as you can see in the gif above (5 keys per step). Basically, these are the 10 poses which define the extremest parts of the movement. With this I could then fire up my equipment once I got home; starting by scanning all 10 frames in and dropping them into Flash. I wont talk you through this process, or setting up Flash files as there is a plethora of videos and articles about that.

This is about as tidy as my desk gets. To the left of here is my drawing area and a wall full of reference drawings. This stage was quite simply taking my scanned images, lining them up correctly on the timeline and then drawing over them with the Brush tool. Making sure they are all the right size, in the right position and so on. This looked something like the following:

To break that down, you can see my 10 bitmap images in the library. I mashed them together into a graphic/symbol, which is on the timeline as a tween. This allowed me to reduce the opacity/alpha and trace over them on the corresponding frames, in the main timeline. Once the 10 keyframes were done and spread correctly over the timeline, I hid the sketches layer and simply got to work on the inbetweens, as you can see below.

Starting in the middles, setting my onion skin to reach the next and previous keyframes. Once the middle frame was done, I'd do the frame between that inbetween and the next keyframe, etc. Occaisionally I copy another frame and paste it to the side (as above), so I could see the equivalent of that frame on the opposite step.

Boom. The linework alone took me 4 solid days of working on it when I could. Was pretty happy with it, didn't really have any time to be unhappy with it! In my haste to get started on this project, I overlooked that our entries didn't need to be a full 60 frames – only be a for 2 second loop. So, I drew mine on one's, when ideally and normally I'd have animated on two's or three's; allowing me more time to polish the linework and refine the colouring. Still, doing it this way was a nice process for me to flex my animation muscles, for the first time in ages. Maybe, subconsciously, I wanted to challenge myself by doing it this way?

Next stage was simple. Pick the colours, fill in the gaps and paint it. I tried to tidy up some of the linework as I went back over each frame but there was no time for redrawing or smoothing it – just erasing overlapping edges and tidying up confusing lines. As the overlay sheet came off my tablet a long time ago, drawing on the hard plastic of my Wacom with an ancient blunt nib, creates a very scratchy finish on the finer/smaller lines. To create anything that looks refined and sharp, I generally spend a long while on cleanup. Still, I'm amazed this bit of kit even works after all its been through the last ten years or so.

As colours started to come through, I decided to drop in my background. The plain grey stage wasn't giving me an accurate representation of the contrasts and such. These backgrounds were just assets from a game I helped create. Nothing fancy. Dropped them in, tweened them across the stage, extended the animation to 1,800 frames. That was about it for them. Carried on colouring my character.

Of course...Constantly exporting the animation and testing it all looks correct, runs fluidly – all the time! Still very much a work in progress at this point but it let me see if I needed to tone anything down or change some colours to fit better. Luckily I was pretty happy with how colouring went from the start. I did try a few different shoe colours but settled on the snazzy darker ones in the end.

Here's how I got the stripes on the hat. It's quite a simple drawing technique and popular shading technique in Flash - using the line tool. Two lines, forming a plus + shape. Copy them, paste them in place, rotate them 45 degrees. Paste them again and then again. Basically, you're left with sixteen lines, in the starburst shape you can see above. Taking this shape and warping it, as you can see below, allowed me to accurately colour the stripes and maintain the same position on them over time. It was important to get one of my sketches back on the stage for this part. This let me judge the orientation of the hat better than my plain uncoloured versions, without having to sketch all over them.

Once you fill in the colours, just select your whole layer and turn off any outlines/stroke by setting the colour to the diagonal red strip (like you can see in my toolbar on the left). Then you're left with nice colouring and no lines between shades. The hat was the final piece of this puzzle. Took almost a day to colour it on its own. I added some quick dust cloud effects on the stomping of his feet and when he pushed off but that was it. It was deadline day!

Thanks for reading. You can see my final entry to the competition here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1emTOte5j8

It aint perfect. I'm not overjoyed with it, that's what happens. As I've said, I'd rather have animated it normally and given myself a few more days to work on cleanup/colour, opposed to the majority of my time spent drawing all sixty frames. If I'd spotted this COTM on launch day, I'd have been super happy with the results at this stage. But..hey.. It's just for fun right? I learnt some stuff. I dusted off the rust that being handicapped has corroded onto me. I was kept busy and amused for a while... Plus... I seem to have gotten a bit of a bug back for animating. Realising I've learnt loads over the years and come a very long way since any of the movies I've released on here.

Which is partly the point of this post. I wanted to document this process, mostly to get me used to actually documenting my work. It's not something I usually do but something I should make a habit of. I have plenty of knowledge that I've learnt the hard way. There were no animation or digital art classes in my education. Yet, I've pushed on and learnt to create the art I wanted. So, if I can document it and publish my working... Hopefully I can teach or share a bit of it too? Rather than just showing the finished results, as I've become so trained to do. In time, I'd hope to make posts that resemble more like actual tutorials and maybe one day create video walkthroughs, once I've got some decent filming and recording equipment. That stuff is expensive and way off so, in the meantime, this is all great practice. I might give streaming a try, who knows? Meanwhile, if you have any comments or questions about any of the above.. Please don't be shy. I always encourage anyone to ask away.

I've seen some really great entries to this, as always with COTM. Go onto twitter and search #SillyWalkChallenge if you haven't, or a quick browse through the forum thread here. Great ideas and such massive variation. Even those of us who don't win, remember that: the real prize is in the process and learning. Something I've personally found to be true, upon reaching any goal or acquiring what I once defined as success. Good luck to all participants across all categories!
Peace to all.

Hey all,

Hope you are enjoying 2016. As always, I left it too long between posts so have too much to say. Not your typical blog post though, this one is entirely different and mostly focused on a personal thing that happened to me recently.

Back in December I had a pretty epic car crash and once again narrowly avoided death. I broke three bones (my femur, pubic ramus and L7 in my spine). I've never broke a bone before and was not ready for that level of pain during my lunchbreak. I remember being sat in my totalled car and, by coincidence, a friend of mine pulled up in the traffic. I hadn't even tried to move, I think due to shock... but was sat there all like "Does my leg look right to you?" we were both unsure but looking back.. It was wobbly as hell and falling down the side of my seat. Definitely did not look right. I had hoped it was only dislocated but nope, sure as hell.. It done broke gudd. So then the ambulance crew arrives and ask me to try and move. Safe to say I screamed louder and more than I ever have or knew I could.

This is what a combined impact speed of 90mph looks like (on-scene estimate from a police). If I was carrying a passenger, they wouldn't have survived. It was clear they needed to cut the roof off, after that, they cut my clothes off and tried to lift me. Only to be met with even louder and even more screams. Then they dosed me up on two big doses of morphine and about 7 burly guys hauled me carefully out of my car onto a stretcher, which was inserted behind my back against my seat. It was still painful but wow, they did me proud. It's not often people treat you the way you want to be treated in this life but... To them... It's a day job. Heroes.

Naturally I was rushed to hospital... Had all kinds of pain and tests done. X-rays, scans. Projectile vomited everywhere in A&E. All the while, people cleaning off the blood. Multiple people plucking out glass from my arms and legs (I couldn't even feel that because the pain of broken bones nullified it that much!)... Such a surreal experience.

The next day I went to surgery. They stitched up a huge glasswound on my left hand. Cleaned me up a lot and oh yeah! Nailed a rod into my femur!! That's right, I have a bionic leg now. I'm held together with a piece of titanium, along with some nasty scars. Following all that, it was a steady road of feeling helpless and struggling with everything. I was out of hospital after a 7-day stay. Went to my work Christmas party on the day I got out! (it happened to be at my friends work and I was very well looked after) Went through all of Christmas, with my whole leg swollen to about twice the size and drugged up on opiate painkillers.

Above: Seatbelt/steering wheel wounds. Even now, after three months, I can feel the swelling and stinging on my pectoralis major. Also, fun fact... The mark on my forearm is where part of my face smacked into it; the marks on my bicep are from my teeth. That fucking hurt. Also had crazy black bruises on both wrists as I slammed into the steering wheel.

Above: 9 stictches in my hand. 31+ staples in my leg. Almost all the flesh on the back of my hand was torn off. I have no idea how they managed to stitch it back up.

Above: Glasswounds. I had a similar pattern in my leg too; apparently much larger shards were in my shins, having managed to penetrate my brand new jeans!

Not an ideal start to my year but... At the same time.. It gave me time to detach myself from everything. This scummy system called capitalism. I got away from it all and... For the first time in almost ten years... I feel more like me than I have in ages. I caught up on reading and got through Adam Phillips' (chluaid's) book on ToonBoom (Animate to Harmony). Did a ton of drawing and writing. For Christmas I was extremely lucky and got a big pack of Copic Markers! Only the fucking best markers money can buy. I've been busy. Getting back in touch with my roots and...finally... Feeling happy for it. After so much depression and stress of the impending doom that society and capitalism puts us all under... I can finally say I truly don't give a fuck. I've let it all go. All my demons, are their demons now. I'm me again baby!

Yeah I've been drawing a lot, even since before the accident. I've read and watched a lot of educational material. Time to revive AcidX. I've been working on it slowly the last few years but things are going to gain momentum now. I've invested heavily in equipment and will be switching to real animation software (ToonBoom). My old cartoons are super old now. I made them all on ghetto-ass machines like 5 years out of date. We were poor as shit. Not the typical background or upbringing for an animator. Now I have real power and professional equipment behind me. I'm gonna do this properly, like I've been longing to for so long. Life is too fucking short and can disappear in an instant. No more just letting it slip through my fingers. Fuck pleasing others. Fuck everyone who said I can't do it. Fuck all the agencies that doubted my ability. Fuck being who other people want me to be. Just fuck it all. I'm gonna do my thing now and not sell out to anyone. I do this for love, not glory.

On a lighter note.. The Deadpool movie was good, right!?

What happened. To me.

All of a sudden.. I feel old.

What happened is...

I gave someone love. A lot of meaningful deep love. The kind you give to your dream spouse.

But they never gave it back. Several times over. So I have spent the past ten years of this life I cherish so much... Recklessly abandoning my dreams and destroying myself.

Those liars, cowards, cheats and users always so two-faced and ready to betray me. But never able to look me in the eye and face me. Always the ones that are scared of me.

They'll happily strip me of my identity, ambition and everything they envy or fear. Everything that separates me from them. But they don't realise I'll never give this up. Even if I never found the motivation to produce another cartoon in my lifetime... I won't stop animating. I can't stop this skill, that I have nurtured since my childhood. It's part of me. Just the same way part of some people is getting into fights, going to wars, stealing or oppressing others.

It's just something that I do. Something that I am.

I had to abandon my crowdfunding project, following a comment from 4chan.
That and the web series are considered to be "on hold" for the timebeing, pending a further response from them.

Feel pretty shit about that. I put weeks of time and months of planning into the entire project. It's like everything I try and do is forced into obscurity and not even allowed to begin. I've never had it easy when it comes to my animation career. For once, I just wish it would go smoothly.

To the voice actors and music artists that were contacted: You are all awesome and so positive. I was amazed by the quality and quantity that got in touch! I really wanted this to happen and I am sorry to let you all down. It was always going to be a risky project but I at least expected it to take off. Hopefully they will get back to me and I can carry this on. Until then, consider this to be cancelled :(

All is not lost though. I will still be making the other series with my friend. No one can shut that down, as it's just me and him. Sadly, my wish to animate full time probably wont materialise. I feel like giving up altogether if I'm honest but this is all I know so .. I cant really. Unless suicide.

Fuck this.

What's up NewGrounds. You might have seen my ad in the collabinator; it's still open and I really need the musical theme tune as one episode is almost ready for release! I've had a great response from voice actors; still, if you're available, why not get in touch? Copy of the ad is below.

The situation is quite simple; I recently left my job and have lots of free time. No one wants to hire me, fund me or represent me so instead - with this free time - I am putting two webseries' into production. One I'm doing entirely with a friend but for the other, I'm interested in reaching out to you guys and working with people from around the world!

I'm looking for two things:

1) MUSICAL INTRO
Here's some inspiration from here on NG
Really like the drum roll effects in there.. Love the clean, real sounding drum ad-libs. This is almost spot on aside from the melody. Want something more bass/drum orientated; a real jungle melody, more like the breakdown in the middle of this

Also like intro music on the zero punctuation videos, the full song is cool but not the style I'm going for. Open to a distorted guitar with DnB though!
FPS Russia's ambient sound, as an intro jingle
Jazza's funky drumming, as an intro

Something PUNCHY and FAST... I'm looking for a kind of progressive-jungle-liquid clip, no more than 30 seconds long. Think amen breaks, played with real crisp modern drums (live if you want). Possibility of a full version if you want but there must be a roughly 30sec clip for a credits roll. Must be 174bpm.
The intro ident will play at the start and be around 10secs, so it would be good if there's a "detachable" little break for that.
NO DUBSTEP or 100bpm or whatever shitty derivatives.
 

2) VOICE ACTORS
Because I suck at anything but British 'street' accents or really retarded characters. Which does cover about 20% of it.
Must have great sense of humour and be open to VERY controversial topics. Anything from rape, to discrimination. Standard adult cartoon really. Ideally you are 21+
My scripts are lenient, I would rather you act them in a way that feels comfortable and natural. Adapt them to the funniest, most relaxed delivery.
Will definitely need a female for female voices. No drag acts, Austria.

Artists will be properly credited here on NG in every episode. Name in credits; will link/reccomend your youtube channel/social media/website (whichever preferred). Can't guarantee payment but you will always get at least 10% cut each, of any NG revenue, guaranteed. On all episodes you are featured. That amount is subject to how many people feature / your role per episode but that's the minimum. Any further revenue or payment (youtube monies) is best discussed once we're actually up and running. I promise 100% transparency on this.

Note: PM me on here, or contact me through my site. I'm not on Skype or steam all the time. Can give you all the info you need.

Given that my previous post was over five years old... It is certainly time for a new one.

This is a more retrospective post which is probably going to get really boring very quickly.

I logged in here the other day, planning to release my 'new' movie. Only then did I realise how much things had changed. Admittedly, I hadn't been on properly for a few years and things sure are different. Design and functionality wise it's great. In this age of shitty confusing responsive flat design, cluttered with nauseating jquery effects, it's nice to have this refreshing design created with thought and talent...and actually stand out. Unfortunately, the biggest shocker for me was the community.

Our numbers really have dwindled. Whether mobile or the 'death' of flash has killed us off I don't know. It really touched me and actually got me quite emotional. I remember, growing up, this was like one of the biggest sites ever. Massive community, things moved so fast! It was virtually impossible to get yourself heard and part of why I was so determined to become a part of that beautiful powerhouse. In many respects, the only reason I realised my dream of animating was a tangible thing. Had I been growing up now I probably wouldn't feel the same.

Sadly, this is all in favour of what? Shopping? Social media? Google? The corporations that fed you the NSA, jeopardised your privacy and want to turn the internet into another TV. Survellience. Government filtered bullshit. Finally, as the web becomes more malleable and controllable, the wrong people take charge. The dinosaur politicians. The luddites. The clueless. As usual.

I always wanted and knew the web would become as widespread as it has. I just always imagined it would stay the same wonderful, free global community. Now you can't even send an opinionated email to someone official without getting your line tapped or even arrested. People being arrested and charged for tweets. What happened to a voice? A platform? Freedom of speech and information. Sadly, when you put Internet in the palm of everyone's hands, you get exactly that. Everyone. Most of this demographic are idiots and need to be dumbed down in case they have an original thought and realise we all shit, eat, repeat just the same. If you're confused about the Net Neutrality debate or having trouble explaining it, this video is a nice digestible summary that anyone can understand.

This is bullshit and for that reason I am making a new commitment to you guys here on newgrounds. I've noticed some old faces like Logo making a comeback and I'll be doing the same. Doing all within my power to end the power trip of our leaders. Challenge their ideas of dumbing us down. The Internet is about us. Our right to say what we want and be who we are.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
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